I should have known the Universe was out to teach me a lesson? It started on the descent to Zurich. Lulling me into a false sense of security. Of order. Those majestic Alps. That densely green forest surrounding perfect pasture. Beautiful hamlets, with manicured lawns, set out with geometric perfection. It was going to be a perfect holiday?

Arriving in the baggage hall, the first tell tale sign announced itself (albeit in perfect German, English and French): “We apologise “(I could almost see the blush of embarrassment), “passengers with oversize baggage should not go to Bay 28 as it has broken down”. A pause. (Perhaps a desperate loosening of the collar?) “Instead, you should proceed to Bay 30 where your luggage will be waiting”.

My confidence restored (imagine, 2 bays further?), I ambled to Bay 30. All quiet. No worries, the oversize stuff takes a little time, I told myself.

Twenty minutes later, I found myself struggling to suppress the memories of my last trip to this part of the world (my Danube cycle in 2018). In short: my bike never left Dublin when I did and it took 4 days to get it delivered – and, with a bent frame.

A uniformed Young Man appeared and reassured me all oversize baggage would be delivered at Bay 30. Ja. (“Yeah, right – Vorsprung durch technik” my doubting mind replied.)

Another 25 minutes waiting. And I remember Sam Beckett (of Foxrock and Zurich fame). Waiting.

Young Man passes by me again and I swear he is blushing. His eyes avoid mine.

Not quite perfect?

Another announcement. Same voice, same Young Man (this time, embarrassment gone, replaced by brazen cover-up): “of course you should go to your original bay where any oversize luggage will be waiting . . .” And, right enough, the bike was there.

Universe 1, Bob 0