“Your bill” (I’ve no idea what she actually said – no English in this hotel – but I understood the gesture).

I smiled. “Prob-lem” (a word understood in every language, especially when the two syllables are separated with an appropriate pause and some eyebrow action). “ No charge for dinner”

The flurry that followed (two other hotel personnel appearing from nowhere) was something to behold – confusion, denial, mystification, anger, embarrassment, barely concealed venom – we had the full spectrum. (Kubler Ross eat your heart out),

It got sorted (previous incomplete bill snatched and crumpled with the contempt it deserved) but I decided I’d have to claim half a point for that uncharacteristic wobble.

And then Switzerland really woke up.

A quick (sneaky) point scored immediately outside the hotel: buses that can take bikes:

My God! How obvious??!! 1 point to Switzerland for extra common sense. Bus Éireann take note.

Next came the seductive roads – ambling out of town at 830, I had smooth open roads with no traffic – and spectacular views to boot. Ask any cyclist – this is about as close to heaven as any rider can reasonably aspire. See you yourself:

Followed by a coupe of ‘gotchas’:

(Perhaps I should have brought my e-bike?)

Definitely 1 point

Elon may not be my favourite person but you cannot deny the genius of the Falcon 9, or the Tesla – and Switzerland has certainly embraced the latter with these recharging points.

Another point to Switzerland.

On a roll (and we haven’t started to think about Swiss Chocolate, Swiss Watches, Swiss Rolls (eh, maybe not them))

And just to ram home the point, when I arrive in Buchs, I espy a shop selling Federer merchandise – only the best tennis player ever?

I think I’ll stop counting.